Secrets Worth Sharing
Approachable advice on having better conversations about childhood sexual abuse with 'serious joy'.
Secrets Worth Sharing
DOs and DONTs: Christian contexts for talking about childhood sexual abuse
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[DOs and DONTs Episode] How can the values of Christianity be used by abusers, and how can they also be used by some to aid healing? Sophia interviews survivor and Pastor Chioma Alade, as she shares her journey with the church and teaches on what forgiveness actually means for survivors of sexual abuse.
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Thank you for taking part in this difficult conversation with serious joy.
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Welcome to Secrets Worth Sharing a series
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all about having practical
and approachable
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conversations on childhood sexual abuse,
but with serious joy.
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I'm Sophia a designer and survivor,
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and this episode is all about child
sexual abuse and Christianity.
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And for that,
I am joined by the wonderful Chioma.
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Hi. Hello.
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First of all, thank you for having me.
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Thank you for asking me.
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I feel super honored.
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My name is Chioma.
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I, well I'm a lot of things.
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I'm a lover of people.
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I love nature.
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I love, cake.
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I love my family.
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I love advocacy work.
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I also have a thing for diamonds.
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That's a whole other conversation.
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And within the local church context,
I function as a pastor
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and a minister and help to discipled people
and help them to be
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more like Jesus and live happier
and more joyful lives.
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So that's just a bit about me
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This is the section in the podcast
where we share
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really practical advice
about what you should and shouldn't do.
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When trying to support someone
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who is a victim of child sexual abuse,
particularly in a Christian context.
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So we each have a couple of don'ts.
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We've not heard each other's.
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But, Chioma
I was wondering if you could start us off
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by sharing a couple of don’ts.
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First of all, don't blame the victim.
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I think that that is like
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common sense.
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But common sense is not common, you know?
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-Yeah. Yeah.
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Don't blame the victim.
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And also don't use
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unhelpful language to describe the abuse.
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Children don't have affairs with adults.
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Yes. Yes.
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Children don't lead on.
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Let's let's correct. Let's.
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Sexual activity with a minor is abuse
because they cannot consent.
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So let's just be careful.
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They can't consent fully understanding
the consequences.
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So let's just be careful in our language.
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Don't use unhelpful language.
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Definitely don't blame victim
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and don't don't support people
who are also blaming the victim.
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And don't stand by while other people.
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Make the victims journey harder.
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Because some people will say oh,
but it wasn't me.
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I'm like yeah but you.
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You were part of the conversations.
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You you sat there that you didn't
call it out.
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You didn't call out the wrong
when it was happening.
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And also like don't
don't don't cover it up.
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Don't cover it up because
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you know and I've seen this personally
in my own life
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that people that literally covered up the,
the abuse that I
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and I realized later in life
covered up the abuse.
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and knew even my ministers have seen
I have seen them face
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severe consequences as a result of it
in their own personal lives.
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You know, God, you know, when
the Scripture says that God is justice.
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He really he really is.
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And God, God doesn't need anyone.
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You know.
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it seems that people get away with things.
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But I've come to realize that people
actually
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Don't. the repercussions are there
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So, for really unrepentant people
and actually even repenting or something
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does that doesn't, isn't mitigate
or take away from from the past
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or your actions you can be sorry.
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but you’re still going to prison mate
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do you know what I mean like
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ok someone's sorry doesn't mean
that we're not going to prosecute.
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You said something really powerful
last time we spoke, which was
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you see church as a family of God.
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And the minute it starts acting
like an institution, that's when it I can’t remember
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your exact words, but that's
when it begins to fail us or something.
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Yes, yes, a church.
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Church is the family of God.
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It's literally like it’s
the Jesus that our community sees.
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It's. It's the bride of Christ.
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It's it's it's, it's it's so much more
than the buildings that we see.
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It's a spiritual force.
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It represents God's power to the world.
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But any time we behave,
we begin to behave more like a corporation
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or an institution or a business.
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We see abuse. Yeah.
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Because actually what happens in institutions is
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the party line is more important
than the people within that institution.
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And the moment that we begin to
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to elevate the ideals
and the visions of human beings
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over God's idea
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for church, abuse is inevitable.
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Because it stops being about God.
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Yeah.
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So it's not surprising
when these things happen,
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when we decide to operate a church
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as if it's an institution
and not the family of God
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for sure.
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You also said something about
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Jesus flipping tables,
which I want us to slot in somehow.
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Yeah. I mean,
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we have this idea
that Jesus is always this,
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soft and, you know, and
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and that God is
I think we we miss understand.
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We miss,
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we really downgrade,
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actually, the anger.
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of God because the bible says that God is angry,
he’s a jealous God, and that he won't have
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us serve anything or any other purpose
apart from him and his house.
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And, you know, in the New Testament,
we saw Jesus walk into the temple and they
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they basically made it a den of thieves
and were selling things and they were
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I mean, they were profiting off people's
sacrifices to God.
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And they were literally like,
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they had
litterally turned it into a fanfare
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and Jesus literally
takes all these temples and the market.
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They made it and like, literally
flips them like carries them and flips them
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and was like, you are supposed to be
worshiping God here,
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but you've made this place a business,
like a marketplace,
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like you've completely desecrated
God's intention
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for places of worship.
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And we see that today.
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Every time,
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every time someone decides
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that the appearance of a church
is more important
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than someone that's
been wounded in the church.
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We see that every time
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and God isn't afraid to flip the tables.
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And they often like wonder.
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You know we're having so much exposure
and things happening now.
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Is that why all these people
being exposed.
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It's an attack on the church
is not an attack on the church.
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I think God is dealing with in the whole
world abuse actually right now.
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And as they are really beginning
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to destigmatize and I think something need
a stigma for a reason, right?
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As they're really trying
to destigmatize minor attractive persons
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and advocate for minor attracted people.
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I believe that as always God sees
what's coming
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and so he’s dealing with the church first
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so that we’ll actually be able
to talk to the world on this aspect.
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But until the church gets its act
together,
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we’re hypocrites
to the rest of the world.
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And so
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what's happening now is he's exposing it
for us so that Christians
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can understand the need to be concerned
about this topic. -For sure.
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And again, it it's moving on
from that passive to that active.
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My don'ts I'm very interested to hear
what you think about them.
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So my first one is quite
obviously don't force forgiveness.
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I think I'm still very much on that
journey and very much on the early parts
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of that journey. And,
you know, maybe I'll get there.
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I'm not sure.
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But you can't treat forgiveness
like a ticking time bomb.
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And if you are someone with faith
and you are trying to use that
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because you have reached
a point in your life
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where you have reached forgiveness,
that's great.
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But do not use that to force
on other people.
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If anything, you're just going
to drive them further away. -Yeah, Yes.
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And especially for all the reasons
we talked about today, there are so many
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very intricate, complex layers
as to why forgiveness and religion
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and abuse are very
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It's going to take a long, long time.
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And you're not only reaching
that forgiveness for yourself,
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but you're also trying to understand
what forgiveness means
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to so many different people in your life.
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So yeah, just don't force forgiveness.
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It's something that you can help
someone with.
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Yeah.
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I was also just going to just quickly add
that when people start
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forcing forgiveness,
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I don't what they really mean is
they want a force reconciliation.
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Because a biblical forgiveness journey actually means
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acknowledging
what someone saying is wrong.
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Yeah, I think we slap the word
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forgiveness on processes that enable us
to go back to things as normal.
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It’s not really
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forgiveness really.
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Which I
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You know what? Truly,
I did not know until today.
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So thank you for that. -You’re welcome
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And my second don't
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don't just pray for them.
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What I mean by that is and
you hear it in so many things.
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For example, when someone's got a child
who's terminally ill
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or someone
who is the victim of a violent crime
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or someone in a domestic abuse situation,
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or as we're talking about in the child
sexual abuse situation,
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a lot of the time it's
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a very and I see
it it’s meant from a place of goodwill.
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People say, I'm praying for you.
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I'm thinking of you.
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When when the action of support
is just prayers,
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it can be very, very difficult
for the person to understand
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how you're supporting them,
because at least the way I see prayer
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is that it should be something
that's an action as well.
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So it should be supporting the person
and all of that.
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And so when you just say I’ll pray
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I’ll pray for you, I'll slip a line in after
our fathers or whatever it is you are,
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you are
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very much greenlighting the passiveness
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and ultimately fueling the silence
that that person has lived through.
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That's almost allowed
that abuse to happen in the first place.
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I just don't find it
a very helpful phrase.
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I think, first of all,
I find you probably don't think
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it's a very helpful phrase
when people are actually praying for you.
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It's actually it can be helpful, okay,
but you probably don't find it helpful
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because most people when I say they're
praying for you, actually aren’t. Thats the truth
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it's like, oh,
I'm thinking of you I’m praying for you.
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No you’re not, let's be real.
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Like I’ve been there
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you know, when I've been ill,
wherever. They’re like I'm going to pray for you.
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saying to me you know that
girl has not prayed for you.
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But you know that's a lie, right.
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I don't have to confirm
that's a lie, right?
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Like ok cool because when people
actually are praying, praying
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is it doing word. You know,
as you said, it's an action, right?
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When you're praying for someone
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you know, God isn't a liar
and he's also not a dead god, right?
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He's a living, breathing God.
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And when you're praying for someone,
God will drop in your
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what most people will call
your consciousness.
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The Christian might call it their spirit right
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things that that person actually needs
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And that's that.
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That process is how you know that prayers
are doing work because God will tell you
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about things to pray for and ways
you can show up for them.
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Practically.
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And make them
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feel like you're there for them.
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You know what I mean. Yeah.
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So prayer is prayer
is most often followed up by action
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whether, the behind the scenes
or in a way that someone can see.
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So I think, you know, I think also
as Christians, Catholics, whatever,
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we need to be careful
about just slapping a label on something
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just to make someone feel like
we're doing something.
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When we’re not. And actually see.
-Yeah.
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Love that, love that realness
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Shall we move on
to some more positive things.
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So the do’s
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My first one was do offer
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to understand the person who's abused
stance on religion and try and meet them there.
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It’s for vwey similar reasons that I said
the forgiveness is a ticking time bomb
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kind of thing.
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I think
00:12:42:20 - 00:12:45:07
we have to acknowledge that
for some people,
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when they've gone through abuse,
their faith is at a weak point,
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as you said,
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like you questioning why did this happen,
why did God allow this to happen.
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And if your faith is stronger
and you see that there might be a way
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that you can support them through it,
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you have to be so careful about how you're
meeting them with that knowledge.
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Because, for example,
if someone if someone
00:13:06:07 - 00:13:09:15
doesn't have the faith
or has a different faith or whatever,
00:13:10:04 - 00:13:13:11
I personally wouldn't dream
about going to try and convert them
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or whatever it is, but there could be
an interesting meeting place between
00:13:16:14 - 00:13:19:20
two people with beliefs
that have quite similar cause
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or but the the
but they are practiced in different ways.
00:13:22:21 - 00:13:23:03
Like.
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I guess that's what I
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mean by it's
like still help them on a journey
00:13:28:09 - 00:13:31:09
that that journey has to start
with the person who's been abused.
00:13:31:21 - 00:13:37:02
And so for me, that feels like
meeting them where they are with religion.
00:13:37:02 - 00:13:39:11
Yeah.
00:13:39:11 - 00:13:41:05
God meets us where we are.
00:13:41:05 - 00:13:44:02
So that's where we
which is what we should do as Christians.
00:13:44:02 - 00:13:44:19
Yeah.
00:13:44:19 - 00:13:47:19
And I remember when I first
when everything first came out,
00:13:48:15 - 00:13:51:15
my parents were like,
wow, kind of like your husband.
00:13:51:21 - 00:13:54:09
This makes so much sense now.
00:13:54:09 - 00:13:57:24
And one of the things is that for
we've had a lot of bust-ups
00:13:57:24 - 00:13:59:07
about going to church,
00:13:59:07 - 00:14:03:02
and I was very much adamant that I,
I just didn't want to go for a while.
00:14:03:02 - 00:14:05:12
And that caused a lot of hurt.
Of course it did.
00:14:05:12 - 00:14:06:22
And I did.
00:14:06:22 - 00:14:07:18
I wasn't really saying
00:14:07:18 - 00:14:11:16
like some of the reasons why that was,
because nobody knew at the time. And
00:14:13:00 - 00:14:13:13
I think
00:14:13:13 - 00:14:17:19
if someone had taken some care to kind of
meet me where I was, and they did in
00:14:17:19 - 00:14:22:20
a lot of ways to just kind of say, okay,
that we understand all faith is a journey
00:14:22:20 - 00:14:26:22
we understand as parents, it's our duty
to kind of encourage you.
00:14:26:22 - 00:14:29:12
But like,
ultimately the decision is yourself.
00:14:29:12 - 00:14:32:10
I think that that was really helpful
and I'm very grateful to them
00:14:32:10 - 00:14:35:23
for all for just like letting me
make up my mind on decisions.
00:14:36:08 - 00:14:41:17
I think the problem is when other people
try and be like, why are you like this?
00:14:41:23 - 00:14:45:03
God will help you just forgive or just
00:14:45:21 - 00:14:48:12
start going back to church
and you'll see that everything's better.
00:14:48:12 - 00:14:50:18
It's not necessarily
the most helpful message
00:14:50:18 - 00:14:54:06
that you can give to someone
in such a moment of vulnerability.
00:14:55:13 - 00:14:57:20
Yeah, I would agree.
00:14:57:20 - 00:14:59:19
I was so interested to see what you
thought about that.
00:14:59:19 - 00:15:02:00
So. -Yeah.
00:15:02:00 - 00:15:05:00
And then the other one was,
00:15:05:06 - 00:15:07:19
do you take the time to find peace
00:15:07:19 - 00:15:12:12
and comfort throughout the process
and look at active ways
00:15:12:12 - 00:15:13:12
that that can play out?
00:15:13:12 - 00:15:16:08
So I guess it it's almost the reverse
of what I was saying.
00:15:16:08 - 00:15:18:09
Like in that prayer is in action.
00:15:18:09 - 00:15:21:09
So do you remember that prayer is an action
00:15:21:09 - 00:15:26:16
and finding peace and and solace
and helping that person on a journey
00:15:26:16 - 00:15:32:05
of finding that inner comfort and support
should be your first and foremost goal.
00:15:32:12 - 00:15:35:12
And so if that plays out in terms of
00:15:35:16 - 00:15:40:04
would you like me to come, come with you
while you're making a statement?
00:15:40:13 - 00:15:43:20
Or I always give this example
because I think it's
00:15:44:06 - 00:15:47:12
one of the most beautiful examples
of allyship that I've ever seen.
00:15:47:19 - 00:15:51:06
My ex-boyfriend knew for six years
00:15:51:14 - 00:15:55:10
that before
anyone else knew that I was being abused.
00:15:56:09 - 00:15:57:08
And I
00:15:57:08 - 00:16:01:13
beg it, he's a Christian as well,
and I've begged him and I was like,
00:16:01:13 - 00:16:05:02
please, like you are going to be invited
to family parties.
00:16:05:02 - 00:16:06:15
You're going to be coming
to see my family.
00:16:06:15 - 00:16:10:19
It's so many things like you cannot out
me, you cannot speak to anyone on behalf.
00:16:10:19 - 00:16:13:19
I know you're angry,
but you have to please keep it
00:16:14:03 - 00:16:16:17
within you and.
00:16:16:17 - 00:16:18:12
And he did he found it so hard
00:16:18:12 - 00:16:20:24
And I remember it was Christmas.
00:16:20:24 - 00:16:22:05
And we do this thing or we do this thing
00:16:22:05 - 00:16:23:10
there’s so many of us in my family
00:16:23:10 - 00:16:26:01
instead of buying presents,
we all do a Secret Santa.
00:16:26:01 - 00:16:29:04
And I remember the first year
I was entered into that Secret Santa,
00:16:29:22 - 00:16:32:21
my abusers name got pulled out
and I was like, fuck!
00:16:32:21 - 00:16:35:17
And then he went, I've taken care of it.
00:16:35:17 - 00:16:37:14
I've gone down the charity shop.
00:16:37:14 - 00:16:41:11
I bought him a present, like
literally didn't think about it twice.
00:16:41:12 - 00:16:42:03
It's wrapped.
00:16:42:03 - 00:16:45:03
It's says, like,
you do not need to think about this.
00:16:45:12 - 00:16:48:12
And I just think that for me is true.
00:16:48:24 - 00:16:51:15
Showing up and prayer by action
and supporting someone.
00:16:51:15 - 00:16:55:14
And that was, that was, for me,
like the most amazing Christmas gift
00:16:55:14 - 00:16:57:06
someone could ever have given to me.
00:16:57:06 - 00:17:00:10
And I'm to this day
so grateful to him for that.
00:17:02:01 - 00:17:04:23
Yeah, I love that he is also a Christian.
00:17:04:23 - 00:17:08:20
You're like yes, rep represent
-A good ambasador
00:17:10:20 - 00:17:12:04
He is he is wonderful.
00:17:12:04 - 00:17:13:15
He's he's great.
00:17:13:15 - 00:17:16:14
Yeah, I love that.
00:17:16:14 - 00:17:18:12
That's a really powerful one.
00:17:18:12 - 00:17:21:00
I think. I agree with everything you said.
00:17:21:00 - 00:17:23:11
I think that's really, really helpful.
00:17:23:11 - 00:17:27:06
Just supporting people in their own
journeys I think is so important.
00:17:28:07 - 00:17:29:23
Should I do mine? -Yes.
00:17:29:23 - 00:17:32:20
Do you get to know God for yourself
00:17:32:20 - 00:17:36:24
and not through the lens of other people's
behavior who call themselves Christians?
00:17:37:08 - 00:17:38:13
That's great.
00:17:38:13 - 00:17:40:03
That's a great
00:17:40:03 - 00:17:42:08
do to get to know that for yourself.
00:17:42:08 - 00:17:45:11
One of the questions
that people always, often ask me is,
00:17:46:07 - 00:17:49:02
what books do you,
00:17:49:02 - 00:17:50:08
recommend in the Bible?
00:17:50:08 - 00:17:53:08
It's a massive, massive, massive,
massive one.
00:17:53:16 - 00:17:55:05
I love the book of John.
00:17:55:05 - 00:17:58:05
I think the gospel
of John, you know, John also,
00:17:59:18 - 00:18:00:23
he was a beloved one, I think.
00:18:00:23 - 00:18:03:23
I think he also felt that
he was Jesus’s favourite
00:18:05:18 - 00:18:07:08
I think you see the
00:18:07:08 - 00:18:11:08
you see the love of God in that,
in that I then the book of Psalms because,
00:18:12:08 - 00:18:14:11
David went through like, wasn't
00:18:14:11 - 00:18:17:11
a perfect man, himself actually,
00:18:17:17 - 00:18:22:01
and was actually punished for abusing
actually which is really interesting.
00:18:22:18 - 00:18:23:04
Yeah.
00:18:23:04 - 00:18:25:12
So that's another interesting
one in Scripture.
00:18:25:12 - 00:18:28:12
But, and also a reminder to us
that God doesn't take abuse
00:18:29:02 - 00:18:31:22
lightly at all.
00:18:31:22 - 00:18:33:22
But we see in the Old Testament,
we see people
00:18:33:22 - 00:18:36:22
go through depression, sadness,
00:18:38:01 - 00:18:39:09
we see in the book of,
00:18:39:09 - 00:18:42:12
in the story of, of has there, you know,
00:18:43:08 - 00:18:46:11
God asks him to love a woman
that's a prostitute.
00:18:46:22 - 00:18:51:04
and she goes back into prostitution
three times.
00:18:51:18 - 00:18:55:04
And he he
he goes and rescues her every time.
00:18:56:09 - 00:18:57:10
And we still
00:18:57:10 - 00:19:02:05
see all these amazing stories of people
who really struggled
00:19:02:05 - 00:19:06:03
with their faith
and came to realize that God loves them.
00:19:06:13 - 00:19:08:04
So important.
00:19:08:04 - 00:19:11:22
So, yeah, get to know
God outside of other people's, like,
00:19:12:09 - 00:19:15:09
honestly, bad behavior.
00:19:15:17 - 00:19:17:13
Can I just add something?
00:19:17:13 - 00:19:18:12
Go on
00:19:18:12 - 00:19:21:08
As you were talking,
I realized that whenever I'm
00:19:21:08 - 00:19:24:08
in a situation where I need to pray,
I pray in Vietnamese.
00:19:24:23 - 00:19:26:07
And I've been thinking for a while.
00:19:26:07 - 00:19:28:23
about why that is, Vietnamese
is my second language.
00:19:28:23 - 00:19:31:23
I'm very much not fluent in it
in the way that I'm in English.
00:19:32:04 - 00:19:35:22
I think it's the it's
a comfortable degree of separation for me
00:19:36:03 - 00:19:40:03
because it's like it's chanting,
you know, it's chanting.
00:19:40:03 - 00:19:44:01
I don't have to think as deeply
about the words I see it as grounding within
00:19:44:01 - 00:19:47:05
my cultural, that part
of my cultural heritage, all of that.
00:19:47:23 - 00:19:52:11
When you were speaking, I realized, wow,
like, actually, so much of my religion
00:19:52:11 - 00:19:56:06
is what I've been taught,
and I've just accepted it for true.
00:19:56:07 - 00:20:00:03
For fact, and maybe I also need to like,
figure out what that means for me as well.
00:20:01:05 - 00:20:02:10
Yeah, there's a lot of
00:20:02:10 - 00:20:07:18
colonial mindsets that have crept
into our understanding of Christianity.
00:20:08:09 - 00:20:11:09
The kind of like when people say to me
as a black woman, oh well Christianity
00:20:11:16 - 00:20:12:16
is a white man's religion.
00:20:12:16 - 00:20:15:21
And I'm not like Christianity was was like
there were Christians
00:20:15:21 - 00:20:17:04
that would people like
that were missionaries.
00:20:17:04 - 00:20:21:09
And those Christians in in Africa way
before anyone came with a sword
00:20:21:09 - 00:20:22:21
and a Bible
00:20:22:21 - 00:20:26:08
like slavery and the Christianity
like Christianity existed
00:20:26:08 - 00:20:30:12
like hundreds and hundreds of years
before those guys turned up in Africa
00:20:32:04 - 00:20:35:16
And Scripture also says, that
every tribe and tongue will praise him,
00:20:36:08 - 00:20:41:11
and it might be that, you know,
God has an intention in your culture
00:20:41:12 - 00:20:44:24
and who you are and where he decided
that you would fit in the world.
00:20:44:24 - 00:20:47:04
It's not an accident
that you feel more comfortable.
00:20:47:04 - 00:20:48:20
Praying in Vietnamese.
00:20:50:07 - 00:20:53:20
If that's the way that you feel,
then do it.
00:20:54:19 - 00:20:57:19
It's not better in English.
00:20:57:24 - 00:20:58:10
Yeah it is.
00:20:58:10 - 00:21:00:21
I guess it depends what part of me is
00:21:00:21 - 00:21:03:03
coming out in that moment, but. Yeah.
00:21:03:03 - 00:21:04:14
Sorry I interrupted you.
00:21:04:14 - 00:21:06:21
So you'll-
-No it's fine.
00:21:06:21 - 00:21:10:01
I’m thinking about what my other do’s are.
Don't allow
00:21:10:01 - 00:21:13:01
anyone to make you feel less than
because you have sexually abuse.
00:21:15:06 - 00:21:17:08
Do you remember that
00:21:17:08 - 00:21:20:08
sexual abuse is not a sexual experience?
00:21:20:09 - 00:21:21:17
That's great.
00:21:21:17 - 00:21:22:23
That's really great.
00:21:22:23 - 00:21:27:03
Like, if someone said to me today,
who was the first person you had sex with,
00:21:27:09 - 00:21:31:06
I'd say my husband because I hadn’t had
00:21:31:06 - 00:21:35:23
I had never had any consensual experience
apart from my husband.
00:21:36:12 - 00:21:40:14
And that's not to say like,
oh my gosh, it's like virginity again
00:21:40:14 - 00:21:43:22
And, you know, I'm trying to like, restore
some kind of idea of my virginity.
00:21:44:04 - 00:21:44:23
It's not that.
00:21:44:23 - 00:21:48:17
It's just that I don't count
sexual abuse as sexual experience
00:21:48:17 - 00:21:49:06
because it's not
00:21:50:07 - 00:21:51:16
rape or molestation.
00:21:51:16 - 00:21:53:17
is not sexual experience.
00:21:53:17 - 00:21:57:21
It's it's actually a robbing
it was robbing off my body.
00:21:59:07 - 00:22:02:07
I don't allow anybody or any culture
00:22:02:12 - 00:22:05:10
or even any ungodly mindset
00:22:05:10 - 00:22:10:07
that someone else might inflict on you,
because of their personal opinion
00:22:11:03 - 00:22:14:04
to make you feel like what happened to
00:22:14:04 - 00:22:17:07
you was your fault,
or you do it in any way, shape or form.
00:22:18:06 - 00:22:18:22
Yeah.
00:22:18:22 - 00:22:22:17
And all the actions you've talked
about today in the family of God
00:22:22:17 - 00:22:28:05
that you've, that you're part of
has really spoken to the fact that
00:22:29:07 - 00:22:32:01
when you start with that thinking,
00:22:32:01 - 00:22:36:08
your actions follow and they become
survivor first, victim first.
00:22:36:21 - 00:22:40:05
And we see the type of Christianity
that I think survivors
00:22:40:05 - 00:22:41:12
want to see in the church.
00:22:41:12 - 00:22:43:08
Yeah, I think we do.
00:22:43:08 - 00:22:46:11
God cares about victims of abuse.
00:22:47:07 - 00:22:49:15
You know, the Bible says that
when the spirit of the Lord is
00:22:49:15 - 00:22:51:05
that's freedom, right?
00:22:51:05 - 00:22:53:16
Jesus came for the broken vessel.
00:22:53:16 - 00:22:56:16
He came for,
you know, he didn't come for the like.
00:22:57:07 - 00:22:59:01
Well to do, right? And the ones who
00:22:59:01 - 00:23:00:00
don't need a Saviour.
00:23:00:00 - 00:23:06:02
He came for he came for people in that
in their their lowest and their lowest state.
00:23:06:03 - 00:23:07:09
He came for all of us.
00:23:09:00 - 00:23:09:22
And he really
00:23:09:22 - 00:23:13:02
cares about people that are wounded,
like, really cares.
00:23:13:02 - 00:23:16:14
And I just, I wish, I wish that was
00:23:16:20 - 00:23:19:20
I wish that was better understood.
00:23:21:03 - 00:23:24:13
I think that is a beautiful ending note.
00:23:24:13 - 00:23:27:03
Thank you so much, Chioma, for coming on.
00:23:27:03 - 00:23:29:00
I've I've learned so much.
00:23:29:00 - 00:23:32:15
Truly, I feel like you've started
another part of my journey.
00:23:32:15 - 00:23:34:14
So thank you for that.
00:23:34:14 - 00:23:35:00
Maybe.
00:23:35:00 - 00:23:35:22
And maybe
00:23:35:22 - 00:23:38:10
in a years time I'll be in a completely
different place with it as well.
00:23:38:10 - 00:23:40:02
So that'll be interesting.
00:23:40:02 - 00:23:41:21
No, thank you so much for having me.
00:23:41:21 - 00:23:43:17
This has been such a great conversation.
00:23:43:17 - 00:23:47:15
And it's also had me, you know,
thinking and actually reminiscing
00:23:47:15 - 00:23:51:12
so much on a lot of my healing journey
00:23:51:12 - 00:23:54:22
and why it's so important to start
no matter how hard it is.
00:23:54:22 - 00:23:56:07
So thank you so much.
00:23:56:07 - 00:23:58:23
Oh my God, my. Pleasure, my pleasure.